The Barn Fantasy

Yo guys it’s crunch time. Man up and write your essays. But first:

You know, I have this crazy dream. And this dream usually comes up whenever I’m stressed and don’t feel like doing my homework or succeeding or whatever.

In my dream, I would quit pursuing anything that would impress anyone. I’d throw my degree in the trash and you know what I’d do?

I’d build a barn. But not just any barn.

This barn would house the Jordan Teicher Performing Arts Center/Party Space. Simply put, it would be my palace. It would be a space for plays, music, and weird poetry readings. There would be dancing and stupid art and every hipster for miles would be there.

What’s interesting is that this is also Arielle’s dream.

One day I brought it up, and she looked at me and was like, “WUT NO WAI.”

And I was like, “Girl, wai.”

Ever since then, we talk about what it would be like if this dream ever came true.

It would be something between “The Great Gatsby” and “Summer Stock.” We would dress all fancy and serve (or invent) cocktails that no one had ever heard of. We would spare no expense to make every party we threw as decadent and bizarre as possible.

Why a barn? I don’t know. Maybe because we like to misappropriate symbols of the American heartland. Or maybe we have some longing for physical labor that we’ll never ever ever experience because we are too wimpy. Or maybe it’s because farming is really in right now.

Of course this barn would only happen if maybe we were members of Arcade Fire (A: “Isn’t it THE Arcade Fire?”) or some shit.

But we can dream can’t we?

Today we were talking about it because well it’s raining and Arielle’s got an essay due tomorrow and we happen to be in the library.

A barn sounds good about now.

Oh by the way if anyone would like to donate to the barn fund, please email us at

— Jordan and Arielle


2 Comments on “The Barn Fantasy”

  1. Harvey Milkman says:

    You know, it’s an idea that has been running through my head for several decades. I would like to apply for a position as a part time bar(n)tender!

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